Writing down OCD thoughts can help alot

Hey everyone,

I realized that writing down OCD thoughts can be really helpful. I made up this 'design' of a journal that fit my needs for carrying out ERP for OCD. Hopefully it'll continue to work for me.

So what I did is this:

Day 1 (I write the day down)

Thought 1 (I write the thought number)

CD (I write down the initials of the compulsion. For example, 'CD' stands for 'Close Door'. And you can be more specific, for example, writing the amount of times which you wish to close the door.)

Goal: Day 2 (Set a goal. Say to yourself, I am going to resist this thought until Day 2. If the thought persists until the next day, then write the same thought down in Day 2 and set another goal until Day 3, and so on.)

Thought 2

Thought 3

etc.

(And then)

Day 2

Thought 1

(Write initials of compulsion)

Goal: Day 3 (If you want, you can set the goal to a farther day. But I believe that resisting it for one day is a big success in and of itself, because it really can be energy consuming to resist even if only for a single day.)

Thought 2

Thought 3

etc.

Day 4

And so on.

I'll keep you updated on how it works for me.

Until then, I guess all I can say is that we should stay strong, and carry on.

With love,
Tareq

God Forsaken. Excerpt #6

  A girl in heaven receives a book called the Book of Light from God, and she is asked to read. The light of God is shining in colors that she’s never witnessed before. The plain of heaven is sea-through, and the plain rests above hovering clouds. She opens the book, and she reads, ““How can you disbelieve in God when you were lifeless and he gave you life? He will let you die once more, then bring you back to life again, whereupon you will be returned to him.”

An Excerpt from God Forsaken. Purchase the book, or get the first 20% of it free on the link below!

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/374795

The Deep Darkness of God

Curse the skies and the illusory hope that it brings
Tied in tightly by the devil's cursed strings
Rip my heart out and lift it beating to the sky
Tear my soul out and release the infinite cries

Drag my feet through the wastelands of horrid sorrow
An ounce of light from the angels I ever wish to borrow
Yet the greed of God haunts me all through my jagged days
To hell with your blissful revelations, here what I have to say!

Ignoring your servants as they cry for you to a hint of grace
Yet you carry on leaving them stranded and lost without trace
I've rebelled like Diabolis who was ever so truthfully right
For knowing the deep darkness of God beneath his supposed might

The Hereafter

The heavens and the hells cannot calm down this wrecked mind
Release me from this body so that chaos shall unwind
Heart is pounding and descending into the arms of sorrow
No longer do I wish to see the not so hopeful tomorrow

Legs ache as they walk on through the deserted lands
Oh dear mercy, guide me through and take my hands
For hell is something that has ascended up into my world
Forever my mind is a spiral in an eternal twirl

Screams and callings to angels bring nothing but empty tears
I shout out at the sky but no God will ever hear
The sincerity of my cries and the pain that it holds
There's nothing to hope for, even though the hereafter may unfold

Torn

Madness and fury fills in my troubled soul
Screams of treachery ache my body in whole
Fear twists and consumes specks of hope
Slipping away from the ties of God' rope

Disbelief in God's grace slowly fills up my mind
If only I can reset to a earlier place, to rewind
For this madness can crumble mountains far and wide
Oh dear God, trust in my long awaited suicide

Redness of the eyes boil up with the hunger for relieving blood
Slit away at my wrists until the entire bathroom is in flood
Stare into the mirror and wish that I was never at all born
I'd ask God for help, but this spirit is far too torn

DAY 1 WITHOUT COMMITTING SUICIDE

Hey everyone,

I'm going to start a series of post that only has to do with the mere notion of SURVIVAL. Let's see if I can make it to DAY 100 without committing suicide because of this blasted OCD that's ruining my life.

So currently, I'm on DAY 1:

Went to university today, and spent pretty much almost all the time performing stupid fucking rituals. They make no goddamn sense! Everything has to do with doing something in a certain way and a certain number of times. FUCK OCD. It should be banned. It should be outlawed by the physical laws of the universe. No one deserves to get his mind fucked twenty four hours of the day. Everyone should have the right to peace of mind. But with this shit, it never seems to come my way.

God is love

I've begun to realize that the Misbaha is working, and that the remembrance of God through the words, "There is no strength or might except with God" is truly aiding me in my conquest over OCD.

Although there is a sticky thought which involves the fear of the number 4 (it's actually a big fear), I am holding on to see what this technique can do for me.

So I'm still on DAY 1 of overcoming my OCD using the remembrance of God. Hope it'll work out well!

DAY 1 of using the Misbaha for OCD

Hey everyone,

I'm going to make this series post yet ANOTHER attempt at conquering OCD. My main companion during this journey is going to be my Misbaha. You can learn what a Misbaha is over here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misbaha

The Misbaha is basically a string with prayer beads on it. With each bead you slide by with your fingers, you say, "There is no strength or might except with God." This really helps me in my OCD days. It's almost as though all worldly worries dissolve away.

So this is going to be DAY 1 of using the Misbaha.

If it works, I'll keep you posted.

With love,
Tareq

God Forsaken, an excerpt

Hey everyone,

Here's an excerpt from my book, God Forsaken. Please support me! It'd mean so much. Besides, I'm sure you'll like the book.

Here's the excerpt:

Tap, tapping of chalk on the black board behind me. I look back, and Fadil is writing poetry on the black board. His whole body is slightly moving as he does it, almost as if he’s dancing with the poetry he’s writing. Bits and crumbs of the chalk he’s using are falling to the wooden floor, and some of it even lands on Fadil’s shirt. In the background, the kid I talked to earlier about music is elegantly playing the piano. His hands are swaying from the left to the right of the piano as he passionately makes gestures on his face as he moves his head around a bit with the music. Chalk-writing on the board, piano playing, chattering, and laughter fills the classroom, and I feel content that this is a true class. Embracing what their passions desire in the moment rather than teaching them about the past which is a prison, and the future which is a mystery.

Here's the photo of the book and the link to the smashwords page:


https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/374795 

Let me know what you think!

With love,
Tareq

Can faith aid in the treatment of OCD?

Hey everyone,

When it comes to OCD, we can definitely agree that it can ruin your life in the WORST way imaginable. Although it may seem that there is no way out, we can always reach out to others through blogs, forums, by talking to therapists and OCD mentors. The one inevitable and unstoppable force that swims in our veins is the power of hope. We must never lose site of that.

One thing that truly aided in my OCD for a long time is the power of FAITH. Believing in God as the source and beginning of all that came into existence, and remembering him with our tongues can help get through our times of distress. There is a quote from Sigmund Freud that I read that says that religion is a form of psychological distress. That may seem to distill some disbelief in many, but even if it is true, that doesn't mean that religion isn't in itself GOOD.

One great technique for dealing with OCD is purchasing a unique device that we Muslims use often, which is called the MASBAHAH. Basically it's a circular enclosed string with a hundred beads on it. What you do is count the beads on the string, and after you count each one, you say, "There is no strength or might except with God." Repeating this will eventually dissolve your OCD worries away and all other worries as well.

There is a book on the role of faith in the treatment of OCD called, "Can Christianity Cure OCD?" by Ian Osbourne. I haven't read the book, but reading only the title made me think about this matter.

With love,
Tareq

EDUCATION SUCKS

I just wanted to sincerely express my utter hatred towards very certain things. Somehow I feel that the world is lost. (or maybe it's just me?) But if I'm right, can't we agree that it's because so many people walk through Earth with no purpose or place, with no goal or direction, with no ultimate reason to live or breathe?

Is it the job of EDUCATION to teach us academically, or spiritually. Is it the goal of education to train only the left side of our brain, or to nourish our hearts? Is it the job of education to breed obedient workers that execute commands like a computer processor, or to teach them to pursue and practice the true passions that were meant for them?

Ah, whatever, it's not like it's going to change. That's the phrase we all say, and thus we remain in the dark.

FML

With love,
Tareq

HOPE DRIVES ME INSANE!

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to say that I haven't taking my Olanzapine (antipsychotic) last night, and I couldn't sleep the whole night. Although I couldn't sleep, I'd have to say, that I feel weird, but in a good way. I feel more mentally awake, and more energized. It's all kind of new to me. I haven't felt this way in a long time. I'm probably not going to sleep until the next night, but nevertheless, no pain no gain.

I also learned not to cling on to anything too tightly, because when I do, the OCD tends to turn the solution into an obsession. Ah, this OCD is going to drive me into a mental hospital, again. Life is just full of pain, and full of sadness to me. Every day, every waking moment is another challenge. Yet, I carry on, holding on to hope, the one thing that kind of drives me insane.

Today is going to be a long day. Lots of university work to do. I'm pretty much on the brink of failing yet another semester, thanks to my mental illness. Who knows, maybe when I leave the antipsychotics, I'll be able to do better academically.

With love,
Tareq

ANOTHER STUPID THEORY ON OCD

Hey everyone,

Yet again, I'm going to post another thing I ASSUME is a solution to OCD, and then probably get disappointed later on as it won't really work. But, here I am, being optimistic, that it might possibly work.

Maybe the most efficient word in the english language for OCD is STOP! Maybe, just maybe, if we are to stop a current obsession, we will be able to stop further ones.

My next STUPID THEORY ON OCD will be:

MAYBE IF WE LEARN TO SUDDENLY AND COMPLETELY IMMEDIATELY STOP AN OBSESSION IN THE MIDST OF THE CYCLE WHEN WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FULLY ENGAGED WITH IT, WE'LL BE ABLE TO BLUNTLY AND FORCEFULLY PUT AN END TO THE OCD CYCLE.

That's all I have to say folks.

With love,
Tareq

God Forsaken, a novel. An excerpt.

Hey everyone,

Here's an excerpt of my novel, God Forsaken:

A girl in heaven receives a book called the Book of Light from God, and she is asked to read. The light of God is shining in colors that she’s never witnessed before. The plain of heaven is sea-through, and the plain rests above hovering clouds. She opens the book, and she reads, ““How can you disbelieve in God when you were lifeless and he gave you life? He will let you die once more, then bring you back to life again, whereupon you will be returned to him.”

Here's the picture and link of the novel:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/374795

Support would be awesome!

With love,

Tareq

Scream

The OCD's depths of eternal hell know no bounds

A hint of resting peace I realized I've never found

The repetition of thoughts burn the back of my mind

The countless hours of research, yet no answers to find

The darkness of the thoughts cringe, shriek and scream

We always give in even though it's never as it seems

It tricks you again and again to keep you forever tamed

It says, "No Tareq, this obsession is different, it's not the same."

Suicide is probably the only way out of this hell

Falling eternally into the rivers of sorrowful wells

Drowning and chasing my heart down the stream

Will God ever learn to hear and pity my screams

God Forsaken, a novel. An excerpt.

Hey everyone,

I hope you don't mind if I post about my novels once in a while. I published them on smashwords.com. Right now I'm going to post an excerpt on the novel God Forsaken. Feel free to purchase it on the link:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/374795



Here's an excerpt:

  The girl way up in heaven continues to read. She reads, “Say, ‘Lord, sovereign of all sovereignty. You bestow power on whom you will and take it away from whom you please. You exalt whoever you will and abase whoever you will. All that is good lies in your hands. You have the power to will anything.” The girl understand from this verse that only when one is able to completely give in, to let go, to the grace of God and the universe, will he be able to let go of the strains of existence. Since childhood, everyone is groomed and shaped to be so in depth with the material around him, and miss out on the type of freedom that only exists when in contact with the unreal. Once we acknowledge that all power belongs to God, then we no longer worry about the little details that has us fretting all the time. When we start to let go, we start realizing that weakness is good, and that we are bound to be weak as humans. When we are in a state of weakness, and surrender, we are more receiving to the beauties that surround. We have no power. We are amongst the weakest of creatures. To God belongs all power and all strength. We have no strength. We are but frail creatures that view and perceive the world with feeble senses. God has all power over everything that will ever possibly exist in this universe.

Feel free to comment, give reviews, and purchase the book!

With love,

Tareq

An Ebook I published, God Forsaken

Hey everyone,

Besides writing on OCD, I also write novels. Well honestly, I've only written one full-length novel so far. It's called God Forsaken. Please, check it out if you wish, and be sure to let me know what you think! I'll put an excerpt below. I hope you'll enjoy it!



Link to smashwords webpage:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/374795

Excerpt:

  He says, “Maybe the rebellion of Diabolis against god was for a good reason. Maybe god has to be challenged. Maybe only then will he show off his might of doom. Maybe only then, will we finally see god.” Hadi goes to the pedestal, and grabs the Apple of Hades that is resting on a table nearby. It’s pitch red in color, and is wreathed in veins that pump larger and smaller with each pump. Lub. Dub. Lub Dub. Like the heart of god. Hadi raises it to the skies, and calls down lightning bolts from heaven, killing enemies and allies alike. “If god won’t show himself while we obey him. Then why not piss him off?”

This book is mainly on God and the anger that apostates and nonbelievers have upon him. The book also touches on many other major topics of the world, such as education, but mainly, it's religion. Up in heaven, a very certain girl in the book ends up discovering a whole other religion, other than the religion of Zud back in their world. 

If you're a person who often thinks of God, whether in a believing attitude or a non-believing one, then you might just find this book of interest to you. 

With love,

Tareq

SURVIVE

Hey everyone,

I found something that is really helpful to OCD is to simultaneously have something HEAVILY DISTRACT you (for example, music), while focusing on your breathing. Make sure the music is loud, and your breaths are deep going in, and slow going out.

OCD has ruined my life in absolutely every way, from friendships, to dreams, to ambition, to relationships, to smiles, to laughs, to feeling, to emotion, and to the very will to live, or even love. No matter what I do, I end up being dragged down to the bottom. I truly wonder whether God made a mistake when he allowed for mental illness. Yet, I still believe in him everyday.

I mostly like listening to metal music, because it reflects the blackened soul my OCD has made me. Sometimes, I believe that nothing can repair the damaged soul I have become.

Yet, I still SURVIVE, and so should we all.

With love,
Tareq

PERSONAL OCD DIARY: ENTRY 1

Hey everyone,

This post is going to be devoted to a PERSONAL DIARY. You can peek in to see how it works. How it works is I take a certain obsessional OCD thought, write it down, and then delay the compulsion or ritualistic response to it. Let's just see how far I can take this obsession called the WARRIOR OBSESSION. You don't need to know why I named it that. 

1ST OBSESSION: WARRIOR OBSESSION

FEAR LEVEL: 9/10

DAY 1

GOAL: DAY 2

Continuation on next entry.

With love,

Tareq

OCD IS SO SPECIFIC!

Hey everyone,

An obsession just hit me. Wow, it's marvelous how an obsession can come to you through the tiniest hole like a needle into your brain. Since I was excited about the last post which is labeled "OCD needs warriors to overcome it", I started to obsess about that post! Lol. F*ck me! Since a part of the solution was in that post, I begin to obsess over it. WHAT THE F*CK?!

Forever I shall remain a slave to this monster called OCD. It's the meanest of slave drivers that would drag you down into the furthest and lowest layer of hell. It's a beast whose thirst is never quenched. I'm going to call this 'post' obsession the 'Warrior Obsession' Lol, and I'll see how many days it'll stick with me.

From this post you can realize how sly and cunning the OCD can become. It's a rapist of the mind's calm. Excuse the language, but it's TRUE!

So this is DAY 1 of the 'Warrior Obsession'. Let's see how long it'll last. The obsession has to do something with the space between two words of the post. SEE HOW SPECIFIC IT IS?!

OMG! I should probably ask my therapist to alter my medication.

FML

With love,
Tareq

OCD NEEDS WARRIORS TO OVERCOME IT!

Hey everyone,

Maybe the solution to OCD is to NOT GIVE A SHIT. Maybe OCDers tend to give over-importance to every single thought in their head. EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT is another trigger to an OCD obsession. The cycle just keeps getting stronger and stronger.

I know, I know, it may not be that simple. But maybe, it can help, even though a little.

The days just get darker and darker. OCD just catches me at every corner. My current obsession has to do with walking out of the bathroom while tapping my little finger on the palm of my hand. RIDICULOUS!

I also learned that we have to take it step by step. If there's an urge that you feel is associated with a MAJOR FEAR, then I think we should just give in to the ritual. Because the major fear behind it would just lead to a panic attack. The very sad thing is that OCD panic attacks usually happen within us rather than expressed outwards.

COURAGE, COURAGE, COURAGE. OCD NEEDS WARRIORS TO OVERCOME IT! It needs A LOT of BRUTE STRENGTH. And equally, A LOT of Will Power. The pain WILL BE ENORMOUS, yet the rewards, WILL BE LIBERATING.

GOD, GIVE US THE MIGHT. GOD, GIVE US THE STRENGTH, TO OVERCOME THIS BEAST I CALL OCD.

SPARTANS!

With love,
Tareq

A STUPID OCD THEORY

Hey everyone,

I learned today that the only way to get over my fear of numbers is to do all of your rituals and STOP on the number that bothers you the most. I find that to be the ONLY way to stop the cycle. It's because when I do it on a safe number like 6, then the OCD will fire again and tell me to make it another multiple of 6 like 12, and so on. It's SO DISTRESSING!

Maybe this is the way to end any type of ANY ritualistic cycle! IT JUST HIT ME! I don't want to get too excited though. But here's my stupid theory:

THE OCD HAS AN ABSOLUTE TENDENCY TO FIRE AGAIN IF YOU DO THE RITUAL THE WAY IT WANTS. THE ONLY WAY TO GET AN INHIBITORY RESPONSE FROM THE NEUROTIC CYCLE OF OCD IS TO DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT THE OCD WANTS YOU TO DO.

I believe that a widely held belief for OCD is in a misplaced orientation. This belief of all of us OCDers is that the OCD will only stop if you give in to the rituals. This belief is faulty. It might just be the exact opposite. Maybe when this belief is changed, then our whole outlook on OCD may change.

Honestly, this rule above, I believe, applies to most OCD obsessions. In my case, it works, but there are some major obsessions that span out for a LONG period of time. And I currently think that the only way to get rid of them is to give in. Nonetheless, maybe this STUPID theory applies to most obsessions, which are usually minor.

With love,
Tareq

F*CK YOU OCD! Day 2.

Hey everyone,

This post is dedicated to my 2nd day of the operation: F*CK YOU OCD.

Honestly, since I declared yesterday that I am going to completely ignore and do the opposite of what my OCD tells me, I have been quite OCD free (not ENTIRELY of course). I guess what it really takes is a simple decision that you are going to conquer your fears ALL AT ONCE. But in a way, you're still conquering them ONE AT A TIME.

My current fear still has to do with asking my mom to repeat a phrase on saturday at a certain time. It has to do with the bump on my finger caused by trichotilomania. I swear, because it's a bump, it makes the obsession that much more real, and I just can't SHAKE IT OUT OF MY HEAD! Who knows, I might give in next week, I might not. Besides, my OCD is telling me that I can't even attempt to quit smoking until I perform this ritual. OMG OCD. You make NO SENSE!

I feel the one thing that keeps me going through is my newly developed tendency to fully express my OCD. And I found that the best way is to blog. It helps me ventilate all of the OCD misery out, and also helps me keep track of what has helped me.

Becoming a master of our OCD is definitely extremely difficult and arduous. It takes A LOT of time and effort, but with the right push and techniques, hopefully, we can get there.

So here's a toast, to my hopeful attempt, at beating my OCD.

With love,
Tareq

NO! F*CK YOU OCD! First day of QUITTING OCD COLD TURKEY!

Hey everyone,

I've decided to go long for a BIG CHALLENGE. I realized that maybe, just maybe, the only way to get over OCD is to quit COLD TURKEY. Most psychiatrists or OCD mentors would suggest starting small, and then build your way up the ladder towards the finish line where you can say that you've fully treated your OCD.

So what I'm going to try to do is to keep going through the days with completely doing the OPPOSITE of what my OCD tells me to do, and to continue on forward, while blogging my progress. I believe that blogging will play an important roll in this process because it not only ventilates the pain that you're enduring by resisting the compulsions, but it'll also help you keep track of your progress.

Right now, there are MANY OCD hears swirling around in my head. And maybe, it's EASIER to get rid of them all AT ONCE.

One of the OCD fears that I just challenged had something to do with my cigarette smoking. After I smoke the cigarette and turn it off in a certain way, I have to step once to the left, and then before stepping with my right leg, I breath out. IT'S RIDICULOUS! And I admit, it's HILARIOUS.

One of my main OCD fears is that I can't QUIT SMOKING without asking my mom to repeat a certain phrase that has to do with the bump on my finger caused by trichotilomania on saturday at 3:33 or 6:33 or 9:33 or some other certain time. It's complete bogus! So maybe, when I go on to conquering most of my fears, this one will slide.

Now, an obsession just popped up about this post, and to edit something in particular. I know it's my OCD, so I'll say NO! F*CK YOU OCD!

I'll keep you all posted.

With love,
Tareq

Eventually, OCD thoughts will go away

Hey everyone,

Something I figured out that is important in knowing when you have OCD, is that THOUGHTS WILL NEVER LAST FOREVER. We must keep this in mind.

The reason this is important is that one of the big pushers behind obsessive thought and the need to engage in ritualistic behavior is the fear that the thought will never go away. We must learn that, this is NOT TRUE.

No matter how long it may take, even if it's a WHOLE YEAR, or EVEN MORE, the thought will eventually subside and become a neutral thought.

One of the great challenges, I believe, of OCD is having the ability to switch a thought from fear mode to neutral mode. The thing is, we don't really have that ability, and that's why the thoughts continue to torture us so badly.

Remember, no matter what, WE'LL SURVIVE.

With love,
Tareq

My OCD is a freakin' GENIUS!

Hey everyone,

I just realized that my OCD is a freakin' GENIUS! It works in ANY  way possible to keep you trapped, no matter what! All I can say is GOD! DELIVER ME!

To back this up, once I said that I was going to do everything OPPOSITE to what my OCD tells me, the things that were opposite to my OCD became the norm, and what was once the norm became the opposite! Are you following? If you have OCD, then you possibly have a chance at understanding the twists that OCD can throw at you.

For example, I was creating a blog named "Muslim Reflections". Then I did something to the number 7. And the number 7 is one of my main fears. So what I had to do was change the name to "Islam's Beauty" to make them 2 fears at once. Naming the blog "Islam's Beauty" is a fear to me for some reason. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY! So now, I'm simultaneously dealing with two fears, which in my mind, is a CATASTROPHE!

It's almost as if the OCD catches me at every single wire in my brain. It's horrifying indeed.

With love,
Tareq

Obsessions that last for a month?

Hey everyone,

What I'm really trying to do is to start a new blog on Islam, me being a Muslim and all. But I KEEP obsessing over what name I should give it. (The URL and the name) It's so DISTRESSFUL! I make it, then I delete it.

So maybe what I do is I'll start posting certain verses of the Quran over here instead. That's if, of course, I can get over the fear.

As I said earlier, anything I get excited over becomes an obsession.

I sincerely tried to overcome the OCD, so that future fears can be neutral instead of fearsome, but I keep falling right back into the trap.

What happens sometimes is I'll have a certain fear that sticks with me for SO LONG. As long as probably a MONTH or more! What the hell?! The good side to this is that the small fears and obsessions go away, because I am so fixated on the bigger one. Usually, I have to do this obsession on a certain time and day. I know, it's ridiculous. But it's OCD.

My current big obsession is to ask my mom to say a phrase on saturday at a certain time. The phrase has to do something with the bump on my finger caused by trichotilomania. However, despite the big obsession, I still have the small ones. Argh!

Anyways, that's all I have to say currently, so take care.

With love,
Tareq

OCD is like a whirlpool

Hey everyone,

I just had an epiphany.

Think of OCD as a giant whirlpool. Every time your OCD triggers, think before you act on the ritual. Watch yourself in a detached perspective as you're about to give in to the ritual, and then say to yourself, "Okay, I must know that if I give in just a little bit, I'll probably end up spending A LOT of unnecessary time fulfilling the demands of this ritual to perfection. So, I'm not going to ignite the fire."

If you are able to resist them from the very beginning, it's FAR easier than to resist in the middle of the ritual. In fact, what I found out is that if you resist in the middle of the ritual, it MAY lead to a derealisation episode, let alone, a psychotic episode. So, if you feel that it's hard to resist in the middle of the ritual, then just give in.

However, if you can resist to enter into the whirlpool from the beginning and not get sucked in, then all the better.

With love,
Tareq

YOU'LL SURVIVE

Hey everyone,

It's been a rough day. I spent nearly three hours constantly picking away at my skin, because of my thrichotilomania. Not sure how you spell it, but it refers to the OCD manifestation of skin picking. It's disgusting I know, but it's obsessive and viscous in nature.

The one thing that truly keeps me going is that I tell myself, "Tareq, you'll survive." That phrase keeps me going, knowing that hopefully, things will get easier and simpler. OCD makes everything 150% harder than it should be. One little stimuli, or one little tendency to give into the ritual, and then you fall into the whirlpool of suffering and repeated behaviour.

It's a hard road, with lots of challenges that the OCD will throw at you. But remember, YOU'LL SURVIVE.

With love,
Tareq

Journaling: A REALLY good way to deal with OCD

Hey everyone,

I found out a REALLY good way to deal with OCD. It can work probably for all types of obsessions. The thing with OCD is that as soon as you satisfy the ritual of one obsession, you are immediately faced with another one right away. If not, of course, the same one. So what we need to do is find a coping mechanism to live with this frantic disorder.

What you need, all you need, is a pen, and if you want, a small notebook. As soon as an obsession comes surging in your head, I want you to write that obsession down, in abbreviated terms if you can. For example, if your obsession is to close the door 4 more times after you've closed it once, you write, "CD 1-5". CD as in close door. And then write under it, "Day 1". And then, "Goal: Day 2". That way, you can say, "I'm going to resist the compulsion until Day 2. Then, if the obsession happens to last for a whole day, which I doubt it, then you set another goal to Day 3, and so on.

The simple action of writing something down can be really helpful in predicting the alternate possibilities of what you can do instead of giving into the ritual. For example, my current obsession is to go to a certain website and scroll up the page around 30 times! It's SOOO DISTRESSING! The anxiety associated with it is very high. I know it's silly, scrolling up a web page, but we all know how OCD is limitless in manifestations, because the mind is limitless!

Try this Journaling technique. It might work for you!

With love,
Tareq

New research on OCD

Hey everyone,

Every day is a struggle, I go through it dragging my feet and counting the days I remain to live.

I truly wonder if there is true hope for any OCD cure out there. I read on the 'ocfoundation' that there is new research for OCD that has to do with making new medication that targets different areas of the brain to regulate the level of Glutamate in the brain. That truly sounds great. All I wonder is how much longer it will take for them to implement this treatment to psychiatric institutions.

Here's the link:

http://www.ocfoundation.org/glutamate.aspx

And here's a snippet of what they're saying on the site:

Evidence from several sources suggests that abnormal levels of glutamate may contribute to OCD.  Investigators at the Ruhr University in Germany examined the cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) of patients with OCD who were not on any medication.  They found that individuals with OCD had higher levels of glutamate in the CSF than psychiatrically healthy controls.  Since the CSF bathes the brain, this suggests that the brain is exposed to high levels of glutamate in patients with OCD.  A similar increase of glutamate in the brain has been seen using another technique, magnetic resonance spectroscopy (MRS), by investigators at Wayne State University, and elsewhere. 

This seems to be promising indeed. Although SSRIs really do help, (And I can tell this because I tried to go without SSRIs, and it was a disaster) I believe that there are alternate treatments still not found that may prove to be more effective than current treatments. 

All we can do is SHARE, LAUGH, AND HOPE.

With love,
Tareq

I envy kids

Hey everyone,

Woke up early today, feeling kind of okay. OCD thoughts are still banging in my head. Yet another day I hope to just get by with.

I'm currently taking Anafranil at a dosage of 150mg. Honestly, I can't really say that this medication is fully working, because my OCD still has its awful spikes. Sometimes I'd spend hours just to get by a persistent ritual. Ah, the pain just doesn't have a limit. There is no limit, I realized, to the amount of suffering one can endure.

They say that medication is necessary for coping with OCD, but is that really true? I mean, I've been on several medications, Prozac, Zoloft, Cipralex, Anafranil, and still my OCD has its seriously dark days.

All I have to say is that my life is a withered down shipwreck, and probably nothing can repair the hollow soul I've become. This OCD can definitely turn someone into a person that's numb with guilt and shame.

Sometimes I envy kids. They barely think, they play and run around not contemplating anything that's imaginary or out of the realm of rationality. They just are, and run around in the playgrounds of the Earth just laughing and annoying neighbors. I remember my days as a kid, and I begin to wonder, why can't we always be that way, free and wild?

Yet here I am, moping in my own OCD misery, awaiting for some sort of sign to bring me relief to this pain.

With love,
Tareq

I feel HANDICAPPED by my OCD

Hey everyone,

Sigh, sigh, sigh. My third year in first year of university. I failed two years, and here I am failing another. All the shame and guilt passes right through me, and I really don't know what to do.

Over these two years, my OCD has been horrible, and all I've been trying to do was SURVIVING without killing myself. But my parents don't understand that. The reason for that is that I don't tell them. Course after course I drop, and then, I have only two courses. Two I dropped, and one I'm failing.

For the past two years, my OCD has seriously limited my mental functionality, and that's probably the reason I'm screwing up. So long the days when I used to be first in my class at high school. Now, I'm barely passing.

I heard that many OCD sufferers end up dropping out of university for not being able to function throughout their university days. I REALLY don't blame them.

I feel HANDICAPPED! I'm even visiting a center at the university for students with disabilities. In many ways, OCD has really ruined my life.

I guess all I can do right now is look forward.

With love,
Tareq

Piss Off your OCD

Hey everyone,

Something I learned about dealing with OCD is you HAVE TO PISS IT OFF!

To put it simply, treat it like a massive bully with giant arms and strong legs that can really beat the living hell out of you. But the problem with this bully, is that when he gets pissed off, he runs away instead of fighting. Quite a weird bully right? But yeah, that's it.

For example, my fear is mainly of numbers, so what I do is do the obsessive action in a manner in which I don't keep count, and that way I can haze off the strength of the obsession, and it dissolves with the uncertainty I give it.

You feel the stove is off, leave it on, and imagine the worst possible outcome imaginable and say, "Bring it on!"

You want to open and close the door five times, open it and close it quickly so that you can't keep count.

PISS OFF YOUR OCD BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT IT DOESN'T WANT YOU TO DO.

Remember to Share, Laugh, and piss off your OCD.

With love,
Tareq

Angry with OCD!

Hey everyone,

Argh, just a bit stressed with this OCD crap. Again I fall into the endless pit of its misery. It's true that you need courage to overcome this awful disorder that gives no peace of mind, but many times, I feel like I've had enough.

It tears me from the inside out, each second while it takes over. Ahh, such relief it is to have a blog to ventilate all of your worries to others. Fury within grows by the day, as I look up at the sky and wonder why God would allow for the existence of mental disorders.

My current obsession has something to do with a blog I created that has to do with Quranic Verses. Yes, I am a Muslim. While I was creating the blog, an obsession hit me that I had to backspace the name and then backspace some more. I did it around 566.5 times! It's insane! And now my OCD is going to keep me fixated on the god damn thought and continue to make me want to delete the blog and make it again. I swear, whenever I get excited over something, this OCD tags along and has to ruin everything. Arghh!

So anyways guys, sail smooth and fight hard, courage up and laugh loud.

If the Buddha was right, then existence is suffering. Most people would say, "What's that saying for?" But in many ways, it is true.

With love,
Tareq

Courage and OCD

Hey everyone,

When everything falls apart when you have OCD, one may immediately or eventually begin to contemplate killing him or herself. It's because when the mechanics of the brain short-circuit or go haywire, the only ultimate solution to the pain and suffering may seem to be suicide. The OCD drags you down further and further into the depths of oblivion, into the lowest circles of hell. BUT...

We survive, we persevere, we fight for our lives, we battle with the armies of OCD with the power of our will, our soul, our hearts, and our faith. Something as debilitating as OCD can make anyone a more competent person for having learned to deal with it. It's extremely undermining not only to mental health, but also to physical health, which reveals itself in symptoms such as fatigue.

Remember, the one thing that you can always hang on to, no matter how descending the OCD may become, is COURAGE. Bravery is the thing that can get you through. And remember, you have to learn the tricks of OCD and how it twists and turns to get you to fall into the traps of rituals. You have to know your enemy very well, because this enemy will find ANY way to put you down and make you feel hopeless.

Remember to LAUGH, SHARE, and have COURAGE.

With love,
Tareq

If you have OCD, GO OUT OFTEN!

Hey everyone,

I just wanted to put this post up to write down something I learned today about OCD. OCD's best friend is IDLE time, and where is the most attractive environment for IDLE time? Your house!

For the past two days I've been staying at home, drowning in my own OCD pool of misery, repeating the same things over a hundred of times. The viscous cycle of OCD seems to be getting louder and louder each time I give in and feed it fire. It burns and causes enormous pain.

But coming back from a small trip with my family, my OCD was able to keep at bay. In the car, my family and I sang, and in the store, we walked all around, and I was heavily distracted by all the stimuli of sounds, lights, people, people talking, walking, and so forth.

So if you have OCD, try to get out EVERYDAY!

With love,
Tareq

Sleep and OCD

Hey everyone,

I started to realize that sleep is an important factor in dealing with OCD. When and OCDer oversleeps, it tends to keep the mind in a lazy state, and in an inability to be mentally active enough to resist compulsions. Lord knows I'm a heavy sleeper, and it has taken on its toll. I'd be like a zombie carrying out rituals throughout the whole day. But with the right amount of sleep, I feel better, and I function better.

This is of course not to say that getting little sleep will do you any good either. Undersleeping can lead to hypersensitivity to stimuli and to the thoughts that enter your head, so as to reduce the ability to acheive habituation to the OCD thoughts. Once I used to think that sleeping little will solve the problem, but it only made things worse. So careful!

My current obsession has something to do with opening and closing a door will hitting my feet on the door as I'm closing it. THe current numebrs are 16,15,14, which is good, and better than 17,16,15. Everything is so meticulous and numerical when it comes to my OCD.

All I want, is to merely survive through my days without putting a bullet to my head. It's because life is beautiful no matter how much the suffering, and no matter how much the pain and anguish.

HOLD ON, SHARE, LAUGH, AND SMILE.

With love,
Tareq

Major obsessions. OCD sucks

Hey everyone,

Yet another day of enduring the horrors of OCD.

It's mainly something to do with these MAJOR obsessions that really cause me so much fear. They shake me to the core. Usually what happens are that I have to do these obsessions on a certain time of a certain day.

Nevertheless, we survive throughout these days that don't make sense. If anyone without OCD reads the above paragraph, he'd have no idea what I'm talking about.

It's like being stuck on a train track, and being told not to move. Horrifying, agonizing, painful, and undermining.

I've never felt so inclined to just end my life. Every passing second is another challenge to face. If only there's anything I can do to come over this issue. I'd give ANYTHING for it. Yet, I remain dragging my feet through the wastelands of the Earth, waiting for a sign, waiting for a chance at life.

REMEMBER TO SHARE AND LAUGH, and to hold on to the rope of God.

With love,

Tareq

TOO EXHAUSTED

Hey everyone,

I would want to perform that ritual that has to do with me going in and out of the gas station near my house on a thursday to make it from 2.5 to 5.5, but I'm just too exhausted. I'll have to go back and forth 3 times to perform the ritual, and God knows I don't have the energy.

God bless,
Tareq

p.s: The funny pic was added for no reason whatsoever. LOL.

Advertisement on books I've written

Hey everyone,

This post is mainly for an advertisement for a couple of books I have written. They're all self-published, so if you want to catch a glimpse on to my SUFFERING side, you can purchase my book named SHACKLES AND DREAMS, which is a dark poetry book:



http://www.amazon.ca/Shackles-Dreams-Saleh-M-Radaideh/dp/1469142872

And another book speaking on how Hadi wishes to construct a secular world, and Rana ends up finding another religion up in heaven:



https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/374795

Enjoy!

With love,
Tareq

SAMSARA

Hey everyone,

My main obsession sort of changed, it shifted from asking my mom to say a certain phrase on saturday to going in and out of a gas station to shift it from 2.5 times to 5.5 times on a thursday. Don't ask me how I was able to make it .5 times. IT'S TOO COMPLICATED.

OCD is definitely an eternal twril, up until the day I die. But I should know that it is up to me to find remedies to this catastrophic illness, that tears me apart every second of the day.

I realize that SUICIDE is not an option, and that hope still exists. Hope and love are the only two things keeping me alive.

SHARE AND LAUGH. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. IN A WAY, WE ARE ALL SUFFERING.

SAMSARA, the Buddhist philosophy that Existence is Suffering. Nothing in my life, NOTHING, has ever been more true than that.

Hold on to the rope of God.

With love,
Tareq

God must have been whoring

Hey everyone,

I really HATE my life. This OCD is dragging me down the seven layers of hell.

SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, IS ALL I CAN THINK OF.

After a psychotic episode I just endured, I stepped out of my car, looked back at the open green fields, and looked at God's creation. For some reason, with so much emotion, I spit right at God's creation. I've never felt anything so emotionally for a long time.

I tried to be faithful to God. But currently I feel like he's a sadist, and thrives on mental pain. Fuck him. He fucks with the one thing man needs to survive, and that's his brain. FUCK HIM.

My hilarious story, yet in a deeper sense, very tragic, was that I went to the gas station, and picked the third lighter from the left instead of the 6th one. And I'm all about numbers. So I went out and went back home, and after I parked at my house, I decided to go back and get that 6th lighter. So I got it, then went back, but THEN, I realized that I went a total of 2 times to the gas station, so I had to make it three. And then the CYCLE GOES ON, until I get completely exhausted, and then I lay in my car with a psychotic episode or some de-realization episode.

I was about to swallow a whole pack of pills, but I DIDN'T HAVE THE GUTS. So Fuck me.

FML.

Tareq

p.s: God must have been whoring when he allowed for mental illness to exist.

OCD and suicide

Hey everyone,

Yet another day of me thinking of suicide. It always seems like the only answer sometimes, when everything just gets too mechanical and malfunctioning in my mind. This OCD really does take suffering to a whole other level.

Trust in my, self-righteous suicide
I cry, when angels deserve to die

Those lyrics by System of a Down stick to my head all throughout the day. I still remain a slave to the temptation of death.

Yet, I still survive, and so should all of you
We're not done, until we're fully through

When everything falls apart, we can only look at the sky, and think about God's will to everything, and about how this is all for a reason.

Never lose faith, never lose hope.

With love,
Tareq

The horror of 8!

Hey everyone,

I'm currently trying to overcome my fear of 8 by doing everything in 8s. But the thing that is SERIOUSLY distressing me is that I actually WANT to fear the number 8, because of a certain obsession that I have to do on saturday which involves me doing a compulsion from 9.625 to 9.875. If I FEAR the number 8, I can say to myself, "You know what, you don't have to do it, because you fear the number 8."

YOU SEE HOW RIDICULOUS THAT IS?!

I can seriously hate my life sometimes. I HATE myself! It just doesn't go.

Into the depth of darkness I forever descend
Thoughts of OCD just don't ever mend
This hollowness within eats me up like bait
But I just can't get over this number 8

I guess whether I do or do not give in to the ritual on saturday, I can always blog my regresses as well as my progresses.

All I have to remember, is that I AM NOT ALONE, AND YOU AREN'T AS WELL.

Share and laugh, always.

With Love,
Tareq

I'm OCD, and I'm studying psychology at university. HUUUH?

Hey everyone,

OH MY GOD! That's all I have to say. Well, not really. For the past three hours, I've been opening and closing windows on the computer, while breathing in a certain way, while counting in certain numbers, while looking up and down a certain number of times, while recounting and making sure I got everything right.

I ask you, AM I SANE?

Lol it really is funny how this OCD can drag you through such complex equation like problem solving mechanisms. It all really is a coping mechanism. What I learned is, without OCD, I'd constantly be in a mental hospital, or diagnosed with schizophrenia. Because OCD is my CONTROL MECHANISM. So what we can try to do once in a while is to thank God we have OCD. Well, to a certain degree at least.

Still lingering in thought on the lecture I had today on my lack of 'academic performance'. All the while they were talking, I said to myself, "You do know that you're going to end up as a janitor." I'm not being negative (I think), but I am being realistic, judging (sadly) by my mental performance.

As I said earlier, the two things that can help with OCD are SHARING and LAUGHING. As far as laughing goes, guess what I'm studying at university. PSYCHOLOGY. Wow, that's hilarious. While my patients (whether they have OCD or not) sit in front of me, I'll be counting the hairs on their heads.

FML

SHARE AND OPEN UP AND LAUGH AND KNOW, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

With love,
Tareq

NONSENSE!

Hey everyone,

This is going to sound funny when you hear it. I heard that in the 'ocfoundation' there's a laughing club for people with OCD. So basically how it goes, is we completley share our obsessions, and learn to laugh at one another, while still at heart, supporting one another.

My current obsession has something to do with a bump on my finger that is caused by 'trichotolimania' (i think that's how you spell it lol), and it has to do with skin picking. My obsession has to do with asking a certain doctor whether it's going to grow smaller a certain number of times, which is 6X10 times which reaches 60. The first time I went he answered me 6 times while my motehr was in the other room. The next time he answered me the next 52 times, but my mother wasn't in the other room. So, despite me leaving that country with the certain doctor, I still wish to go back and ask him. So, this obsession morphed into asking my mom when we'll be returning there. I asked her 9 times, and then, and I forgot how this happened, she partially answered my question so it reached 9.625 times. So, my obsession is to make it 9.875 times, even though before I used to fear 6 and favor 8, and now I favor 6 and fear 8.

YOU SEE HOW MUCH NONSENSE THE OCD CAN THROW AT YOU?! THIS IS JUST INSANE! But yet again, I realize, that this is just a symptom of OCD, and whether I give into it or not, I know deep down, that there are others out there who suffer the same, and that I can express myself to them through blogging the same way they can do the same. Also, there are therapists and OCD mentors to express to.

REMEMBER, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

With love,
Tareq

I'M CRAZY!

Hey everyone,

OCD is a giant burden on anyone's chest.

But I believe that there is a core root to all of this. SHAME AND GUILT AND SHAME AND GUILT.

Maybe, just maybe, with the power of the internet and blogging, we can openly admit our craziness and insanity. Now, I'm not saying that we are crazy or insane. But we can admit, however, that to a certain degree, we are. But THAT'S OKAY. To a certain degree, we all are.

For example, my current obsession is to delete this current account that has the name Tareq Fareed and make another account that has the name Edward Tyler. The reason for this is that whenever there's anything that I am excited about, for example, this blog because I love to write, I begin to obsess over it.

I KNOW that the obsession mentioned above is completely ABSURD. But here I am, admitting fully and wholeheartedly, I AM CRAZY, I AM CRAZY.

REMOVE THE GUILT, REMOVE THE SHAME.

BE WHO YOU ARE.

With love,
Tareq

OCD and your weaknesses

Hey everyone,

I want you all to remember, my fellow OCDers, that OCD will do anything possible to go into any weakness that you have, to insert into you darkness and unease of the mind.

Even if there is something good in your life or something exciting, it will morph your obsessions into that very thing that is good or exciting. So we must learn to push on through.

A piece of lyrics I really like from As I lay Dying, even though the song is anti-religion, which I do not agree with, is very encouraging. Here it is:

AS WE face distress
WE MUST not lose heart
STAND FAST and press on
TRIUMPH AWAITS

Remember OCD folks, don't ever make OCD the reason for your loss of faith in God. It's not worth it. I believe, that although it may seem like God may have made a mistake for creating your OCD, you must remember that we are the ones, since childhood, who got us into this mess.

Arghh, my current obsession still has to do with deleting this account that has the name Tareq Fareed and making another account with the name Edward Tyler.

Let me know through the comments how I should deal with this 'account' obsession.

All the best to you,
Tareq

NUMBERS, NUMBERS, NUMBERS!

Hey everyone,

OH MY GOD! SO DISTRESSED! All I see are NUMBERS, NUMBERS, NUMBERS!

I think a good way to deal with OCD is to fully express what's on your mind, whether it's through a blog, a therapist, or an OCD mentor.

So what I'm going to express now, is my fear of numbers.

I do everything in 3s and 6s. Anything that I do in 2s or 4s or 8s is a disaster for me. EVERYTHING. Almost every move I make is another obsession, and another time to count and count and COUNT. Sometimes, I'd go into deeper numbers, such as 0.25 or 0.50 or even so specific as 0.25/2 which equals 0.125, or EVEN 0.125/2 which equals 0.0625. I keep doing the obsessions accordingly, until I reach 3 or 6. ARGGHH.

The reason I'm saying all of this is to just show that no matter what the obsession is, and no matter how insane it may seem, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

And sometimes even, if I find a solution or a coping mechanism for my OCD, I start to obsess ABOUT THAT SOLUTION. For example, my current solution is to constantly express what's on my mind. Now, I start to obsess over who I still have to express my thoughts to, whether it's through the audience of a blog, a therapist, or an OCD mentor.

DO YOU SEE HOW TRICKY OCD CAN GET?!

OCD is almost like a genius at making me miserable.

But nonetheless, we carry on, through the darkest of days.

With love,
Tareq

Passion and OCD

Hey everyone,

Something that really has helped me as well as many others in their OCD is the power of passion.

FIND A PASSION, AND STICK TO IT!

And make sure that your passion emits positive energy rather than negative energy, so that it may be productive to you mental health.

For example, my passion is writing. For a long time, I used to write dark poetry, and I thought that that would keep me busy. But what was actually happening was I was bringing myself down with the negative energy surrounded with the writing of that poetry.

As far as my obsessions go, I'm still obsessing about whether I should delete this account with the name Tareq Fareed and make another account with the name Edward Tyler. It's SO DISTRESSING! The reason it's an obsession is because whenever I get excited about something, for example, this blog, I start to obsess about it.

Do you ever obsess about things as soon as you get excited about them? Leave your comments if you wish.

Remember, find a positive passion, and work on it until you can't anymore!

With love,
Tareq

OCD affects many

Hey everyone,

The OCD is kicking back a bit, although there is one main obsession that's been bothering me for quite some time, and it involves saying a certain phrase to a certain someone on a certain time on a certain day. IT'S SILLY, I KNOW! But nonetheless, I thought that I might as well share it and get it off my chest.

Some of my OCD thoughts are sticky thoughts, meaning that they stay for quite some time before they are resolved. They're usually resolved by me giving into the obsession.

There are various treatments for OCD, none of which we can call cures. All we can do, I guess, is pray to God and for the people in the medical field to bring some light unto this gruesome disorder. Even if you've had OCD for two minutes, then you still have the right to say you've had enough.

OCD definitely affects many people.

The tricks of OCD

Hey everyone,

Something that seriously disturbs me are the tricks and sly moves that OCD plays to keep you trapped in its lair of doom. It slides to the right and left, and makes you think, "Hey, this obsession is different than the others. You HAVE to do it!" I'm sure all of you have gone through this. It's really pissing off!

EXPRESS YOUR HATE!

I read once that people with OCD have very small 'stress buckets', and we have to empty it as much as we can, because if we don't, we might end up being hospitalized. And we don't want that.

My current obsession has to do with clicking on a certain button on a certain webpage on my blog, and as soon as the window pops us, I have to breath in. I KNOW! THAT SOUNDS RIDICULOUS. But that's what I have. It's all about numbers to me. I did it once already, so I have to make it 6 times. So I ahev five times left. Go back to the web page, click on button, wait for window to pop up, breath in, then do it until I reach six times. LOOOOL. It's hilarious, I know. But that's just how random OCD can be.

Since OCD is of the mind, and we know that the mind has limitless imagination, then we can conclude that the realm of OCD's manifestations are limitless.

Again I say, hopefully, if we all join in together with love, then we may get through this, together.

With love,
Tareq

Another agonizing day of OCD

Hey everyone,

Argghhhhhh, what a distressful day. I continually obsess and obsess and obsess. As soon as I get rid of oen obsession, another one just pops up right in its path. It's an on going cycle of perpetual doom!

Oh God, deliver me!

I guess it's never wrong to pray.

What I REALLY want is to make this blog reach far places, but whenever I start to get excited about something, I begin to OBSESS over it! For example, this blog. Before this blog, I had another account which was named Edward Tyler, and now my current name is Tareq Fareed. I keep obsessing, and then switching from one account to another. I delete one account, then I make another, then I delete that account, then I put the previous name. Arghgh!

But hopefully, just putting it out there, and revealing what's truly bothering me to the world, will help me and all of you learn that we're not alone.

SHARE what's one your mind! And hopefully, you'll be blessed.

If anyone has a clue about what to do with this account issue, let me know!

Most definitely, Exposure Response prevention is the best way to go. But when my OCD is so bad, it just doesn't seem to work! When I refrain from the rituals, they just get stronger and stronger instead of getting weaker and weaker!

Also, another thing I've tried is to focus on my breathing, which I don't deny, helps with anxiety, but the OCD thought itself remains like an iron at the back of my mind! :(:'( I've heard from some psychologists (and lord knows I've seen many) is that OCD is starting to be classified as not an anxiety disorder, but as a separate condition. And now, I'm starting to see that that makes sense.

I guess all we can do, is to firmly have faith in God. What I often do, is keep God remembered in my thoughts, and that really eases a lot of the distress.

Anyways that's all I have to say, so good luck with you OCD!

With love,
Tareq

Love and OCD

Hey everyone,

My pen name is Tareq, and I'm going to be posting a blog on OCD.

My OCD is definitely ruining my life. Since we can all agree that our mind is practically everything, then if OCD is going to ruin our minds, then it ruins the way we feel, think, feel, and even love.

I spent the entire day today obsessing on different things. My obsessions someimtes have to do with keeping everything in the same place in the house until I complete my obsession. Honeslty, my family and I take it in good humor, and they are nonetheless supportive.

I constantly search the web for solutions to this serious issue, so that I can get an ounce of peace of mind, but I still realize that the only help we can ever get is one another. My mother told me once that several people have learned to cope with their OCD because of the help of other people with OCD.

So what I'm trying to do, is to add yet another blog to the many blogs out there that aid OCDers to help one another.

Something that I believe we OCDers do is that we tend to hide what's within us. Maybe, just maybe, if we use the power of love and complete sharing of feelings and thoughts, can we feel a spreading of positive energy among us.

Feel free to leave comments and to share.

With love,
Tareq