God must have been whoring

Hey everyone,

I really HATE my life. This OCD is dragging me down the seven layers of hell.

SUICIDE, SUICIDE, SUICIDE, IS ALL I CAN THINK OF.

After a psychotic episode I just endured, I stepped out of my car, looked back at the open green fields, and looked at God's creation. For some reason, with so much emotion, I spit right at God's creation. I've never felt anything so emotionally for a long time.

I tried to be faithful to God. But currently I feel like he's a sadist, and thrives on mental pain. Fuck him. He fucks with the one thing man needs to survive, and that's his brain. FUCK HIM.

My hilarious story, yet in a deeper sense, very tragic, was that I went to the gas station, and picked the third lighter from the left instead of the 6th one. And I'm all about numbers. So I went out and went back home, and after I parked at my house, I decided to go back and get that 6th lighter. So I got it, then went back, but THEN, I realized that I went a total of 2 times to the gas station, so I had to make it three. And then the CYCLE GOES ON, until I get completely exhausted, and then I lay in my car with a psychotic episode or some de-realization episode.

I was about to swallow a whole pack of pills, but I DIDN'T HAVE THE GUTS. So Fuck me.

FML.

Tareq

p.s: God must have been whoring when he allowed for mental illness to exist.